woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
