omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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