Dual....:-)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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