I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
