You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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