just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im holly from the hills drunk
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
