do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
