whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
COCAINE IS GR8
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