I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
