Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
