Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
