hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will be naked everywhere
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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