just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i barfeds in our rink
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I need to stop coming to work sober
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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