I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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