well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
