I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
