now i know why i became what i already was.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
