I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
