It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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