how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
