I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Floor bacon is actually really good
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
