Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
