Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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