My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
