pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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