We won't sleep together?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
