The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Let's paint friendship bongs
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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