we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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