She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
there's paper in my vomit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
