Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
