hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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