I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
