What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
