uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
