we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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