just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
