i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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