At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
