Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You can't motorboat a personality
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
