i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
