Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
