I just cut my nipple shaving
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
