Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Plan B is the new Plan A
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
