I got chris browned last night
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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