I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
