butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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