So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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