I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think your dad took our porno
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
