i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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