I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
